As a young child, I gave my life to the Lord. This set me apart from my peers. I was different. I didn’t fit in and I wasn’t supposed to, but nonetheless they called me a weakling. I was taunted on the playground. “Hairy Terry!” “Hairy Terry!” they would shout. “You’re so fat and ugly!” My heart felt like a racehorse running to catch up; I told myself to breathe, just breathe. It was going to be all right. Beads of sweat rolled down my face.
I could see them, all of them, eyes of hatred looking down my face. It was as if I was some kind of evil; I knew it wasn’t them but the evil sprits working behind them, using them as a tool. Manipulating them as puppets.
Recess for me was not a respite. I felt like it was a playground for the enemy. The other children thought that they could define who I was, but I knew better, God defined me. In fact God has defined who we all are. In Genesis 1:27 it says that God created man in his own image. He created us with a purpose, with a vision.
All those hard years from elementary to high school played a big part of who I am today. They molded and shaped me. As a Pastor’s kid or “P.K.” as all of us church people like to say, the Lord has given us P.K.’s a gift, we are chosen to be in the role that we are in, but in this role there’s a lot of persecution, for the body of Christ there’s a lot of persecution, especially if we are serving Him in His will for our life. P.K.’s can tend to be in a rough place continually, why you may ask, well there’s a lot of reasons why, but here’s a few…
There’s a high level of expectation on us. Our parents are our Pastors, therefore we are also in the spot light, our lives are public for all to see. The mistakes we make tend to define us unfortunately, which comes with a lot of pressure. Pressure to do things perfectly, we shouldn’t feel this way but we do. I’m just being honest with you. As an example: One time I watched a movie that some Christians may think is okay to watch. I remember a girl my age getting offended in our church because she felt it wasn’t okay to watch this movie and she held it against me. In her eyes my actions were wrong, but really she was judging me. As believers we can all tend to be critical and judgmental with one another, God has more grace with us then we give to others sometimes. We need to remember to give things to God, and pray for one another. James 5:16 says: “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
The second reason why we P.K.’s can tend to have a rough time is because we get to see what I like to call the “Behind the Scenes” in the body of Christ. It’s like a play, you go enjoy yourselves, listen and learn, but there is a lot of unseen moments behind the stage. From the viewer’s stand point, the play could be going great, no speed bumps in the road, but in order for the show to go on, the stage crew behind the scenes are working non-stop, running around getting everything the actors need in order for the show to succeed. This is how ministry works. The congregation come and get fed the Word of God every week, but in order for that Word to go forth and penetrate their lives, there’s a lot of intercession and hard work studying the Word of God, for their benefit, by the Pastor. Each congregation is different, therefore the Pastor and his team which in many cases could be the PK’s or Associates and so on, do their best to let God move through them to provide exactly what that particular congregation needs.
A good Pastor will give you a vision and tools to provide you and your family to make you successful in the calling that God has for you. Of course the enemy does not want you succeeding in your full potential, but again that’s why your Pastor is there to help you. Unfortunately, in some cases, the Pastor does everything he can do to help God’s people in the congregation but some can tend to get offended, let the offence bubble up inside of them and leave the church. This is hurtful to see this happen over and over again in the body of Christ, especially for a P.K. In my case I grew up with some of the people in our congregation, they became a part of my family for years, and all of the sudden they just decide to make the wrong decision and listen to the enemy, let him in and destroy the foundation of who they are.
Not all the time do people leave because of offence, (which in most cases they are offended just because they took something that was said the wrong way from either their Pastor or a church member), they leave because of other reasons with I don’t have time to get into right now. This is why God’s people need to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and take heed to his Word. Malachi 2:16 says: ”Therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” Basically, take heed to your spirit so that you won’t be deceived, especially in these last days.
I had mentioned to you a little before about the teasing and taunting and how that molded and shaped me. What the devil meant for bad turned out good! It created me to stand with a deeper character. With that being said, I had and still have a deep intimate relationship with the Lord. He is what got me through those rough years, and continues to get me through them. God taught me how to react to my pain. I have learned (and am continually learning) that walking in God’s love is the key to overcoming anything in our lives. It is the key to freedom my low self-esteem, freedom from needing approval from my peers, freedom from the hurt and pain they inflicted on me. It gave me freedom from the chains of my past. God’s love gives us the ability to take control of who God made us to be and succeed in every part of our lives. I mean really, how do you think I got through all the junk that’s happened to me? It won’t happen by just standing around and waiting for it to happen. (If only if it were that easy!)
God never said life His way was going to be easy. It’s a choice you have to make, you choose to put your shoes on, you choose to brush your teeth, you choose to walk in God’s love. Am I perfect at it? No, but I can tell you with being open to God helping me make that choice, it’s much easier on my part. If you make the wrong choice and let the un-forgiveness define you, it will choke the gifts that the Lord has given to you. In fact, it can get to the point of becoming lukewarm instead of being hot for the Lord, and sooner or later, you will fall into the ditch instead of being on the straight and narrow path. Matthew 7:13-14 says: “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”I am thankful that I decided to go down this right path, the unpopular path among Christians, I decided not to settle.
How many lives has the Lord been able to touch using me? How many lives has the Lord been able to touch using you? If not many, you might want to take a look at what your doing wrong, because we should be working together to touch people. We are here to minister to this world. We are a body and we cannot function well when one part of the body isn’t functioning right. If your hand is broken you cannot play the piano. If your eyes cannot see, there is no direction. Catch my drift? Make sure you are helping the body of Christ, not crippling it. We cannot teach others how to get over their un-forgiveness if we haven’t gotten over ours. The gifts and talents are there, but we need to be willing to make changes in ourselves to see the fruit of them. Trust me, it’s worth it. Let the Lord do a work in you. Let Him give you a testimony of freedom!
Just remember, that the devil also knows us all very well. He has been studying each of us throughout our life, waiting to use his wild schemes against us. Psalm 21:11 says: “For they intended evil against thee: they imagined a mischievous device, which they are not able to perform.” In my case the devil knew the calling of God on my life and had plans of stopping it, even at a young age. The devil will try everything to get us to stop. Don’t let him stop you from becoming everything great God created you to be.
If you have a testimony of God’s amazing grace working in your life in a real way, please email us. We would love to be a part of sharing your story. Your pain can become somebody else’s gain!