• Guide To Remove Satanic Influence
    • Press / Reviews
  • ~ Buy The Book ~
  • Learn About Us
    • Contributing Writers
    • Contact Shalom Be With You
  • Advertise With Us
  • Self Deliverance
  • Store
site-logo
  • Spiritual Warfare
  • Devotionals
    • Attitudes
    • Behavior
    • Mindsets
    • Relationships
    • Relationship to God
    • Self Esteem
    • Spiritual Development
    • Spiritual Warfare
  • Prayer
    • Adult Issues
    • Children
    • Demonic Help
    • Emotional Healing
    • Everyday life
    • Family
    • Holiday Prayers
    • National/Global
    • Physical Healing
    • Spiritual Healing
    • Spiritual Warfare
    • Supernatural
    • Live Prayer Support
  • Demonic Help
    • Are Demons Inside You?
    • The Prayer of Forgiveness
    • Demonic Delusions
    • Armor Of God
    • Blockages to Deliverance
    • Breaking Demonic Soul Ties
    • Helping The Possessed
    • Cleansing The Soul Of Demonic Possession
    • Freedom from Demonic Possession
    • Securing Deliverance
    • Self Deliverance
    • Life After Demonic Possession
    • After Demonic Possession: Depression
    • Demonic Removal Tutorial Videos
    • Demonic Removal Tutorial Videos #2
    • Demonic Removal Tutorial Videos #3
    • Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) help
  • Testimonies
    • How to Submit Your Christian Testimony
    • Demonic Testimonies
    • Encouraging Testimonies
    • God Provides Testimonies
    • Healing Testimonies
    • Jewish Testimonies
    • Life-Changing Testimonies
    • Miracle Testimonies
    • Muslim Testimonies
    • Supernatural Testimonies
  • Verses
    • Attitudes
    • Christian Life
    • End Times
    • Feelings
    • Good Character
    • Health
    • Inspiration
    • Knowing God
    • Motivation
    • Relationships
    • Sin
    • Spiritual Growth – Maturity
    • Spiritual Warfare
  • Educational Videos
    • Cult Information Videos
    • Demonic Information Videos
    • End Times Information Videos
    • Occult Information Videos
    • Supernatural Information Videos
  • Articles
    • Christian Articles
    • End Time Articles
    • Jewish Articles
  • Store
  • Book Reviews
  • Guide To Remove Satanic Influence
    • Press / Reviews
  • ~ Buy The Book ~
  • Learn About Us
    • Contributing Writers
    • Contact Shalom Be With You
  • Advertise With Us
  • Self Deliverance
  • Store
  • Spiritual Warfare
  • Devotionals
    • Attitudes
    • Behavior
    • Mindsets
    • Relationships
    • Relationship to God
    • Self Esteem
    • Spiritual Development
    • Spiritual Warfare
  • Prayer
    • Adult Issues
    • Children
    • Demonic Help
    • Emotional Healing
    • Everyday life
    • Family
    • Holiday Prayers
    • National/Global
    • Physical Healing
    • Spiritual Healing
    • Spiritual Warfare
    • Supernatural
    • Live Prayer Support
  • Demonic Help
    • Are Demons Inside You?
    • The Prayer of Forgiveness
    • Demonic Delusions
    • Armor Of God
    • Blockages to Deliverance
    • Breaking Demonic Soul Ties
    • Helping The Possessed
    • Cleansing The Soul Of Demonic Possession
    • Freedom from Demonic Possession
    • Securing Deliverance
    • Self Deliverance
    • Life After Demonic Possession
    • After Demonic Possession: Depression
    • Demonic Removal Tutorial Videos
    • Demonic Removal Tutorial Videos #2
    • Demonic Removal Tutorial Videos #3
    • Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) help
  • Testimonies
    • How to Submit Your Christian Testimony
    • Demonic Testimonies
    • Encouraging Testimonies
    • God Provides Testimonies
    • Healing Testimonies
    • Jewish Testimonies
    • Life-Changing Testimonies
    • Miracle Testimonies
    • Muslim Testimonies
    • Supernatural Testimonies
  • Verses
    • Attitudes
    • Christian Life
    • End Times
    • Feelings
    • Good Character
    • Health
    • Inspiration
    • Knowing God
    • Motivation
    • Relationships
    • Sin
    • Spiritual Growth – Maturity
    • Spiritual Warfare
  • Educational Videos
    • Cult Information Videos
    • Demonic Information Videos
    • End Times Information Videos
    • Occult Information Videos
    • Supernatural Information Videos
  • Articles
    • Christian Articles
    • End Time Articles
    • Jewish Articles
  • Store
  • Book Reviews
Weekly Christian Devotionals - Prayer - Verses - Testimonials / Testimony of Joy B.

Testimony of Joy B.

Written by Julia Shalom Jordan.Posted in Life-Changing TestimoniesTagged: bad attitude, Baptist church, bitterness, insecurity, inward rebellion, Joy Biesterfeld testimony, Joy Boudreau testimony, pride, rebellion, religion, resentment, self doubt, spiritual rebellion

I’m a very private person.   Since I was a little girl, I have always felt like I was an outsider.  I saw myself as the “ strange kid” that many did not understand or choose to play with. Because of this, I early learned to keep my deepest thoughts to myself.

For a long time this caused me to be bitter with everyone else. (In hindsight, I know that really it was not everyone else’s fault!)

I prayed a prayer to be saved when I was between the ages of 3 or 4. I have no remembrance of this. I do remember going to my parents several times later saying I “wasn’t sure” I was saved – and each time, praying again. I struggled a lot with self-doubts. If no one else wanted to be my friend, why would Jesus?

I was pretty sneaky at home – hiding bad attitudes, outwardly conforming, but inwardly rebelling. At school, I was generally a “good kid” which meant only that I was never in the principal’s office, made good grades, and didn’t cause disturbances in the class.

All the time, I was hurting. I doubted my salvation. I doubted everything. I questioned why was I alive. No one knew these secret struggles. I decided that since I had few friends, there was something wrong with me. I learned I could kind of fit in with some people by making jokes about myself – that way no one else was able to really make the joke, since I said it first. This was my shield. Now and then something would happen to truly hurt me. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I envied everyone else that seemed “normal” and “had friends.” (Again, in hindsight, I realize that I was pretty stubborn – there were things I could have done to make myself more socially acceptable. Sure, people weren’t always kind, but my reactions weren’t appropriate, either.)

My whole life has been spent in a “Christian environment.” I had a Christian family,  went to a Christian high school and Christian college, attended a Christian church every Sunday and Wednesday night. I guess I looked like I was a pretty good Christian. Not a “super-Christian” (always witnessing) but I was “pretty good.”

All the while, even through college and afterwards, I doubted my salvation. I never doubted that God could save – just doubted that I was personally His child. How could I know that I was good enough to be called a Christian? I knew that I couldn’t follow the rules in my heart the way Scripture says you should. My heart was not completely faithful to God. I could not understand God’s love. I know – everyone would look at me and say I was a goody-goody – followed the rules, nothing wrong with me. I have never been much of an outward rebel. In college, I even tried the route of “looking good” just to look good. Worked on good sounding prayers in public, went “soul-winning,” and read my Bible almost every day. I worked at a camp ministry one summer. Through it all, I had a lot of bitterness from pre-college days, plus I never really “felt saved.” I wondered if I was going to be one of those people God says: “Depart from me, I never knew you” whenever I finally died.

Then, by God’s grace, miracles started to happen. I met a guy who I became friends with (against my wishes!) I had already had several secret love crushes and nothing ever came of them, so wasn’t really interested in fostering another one!

This guy was persistent in being my friend, though. My  new friend had a gift for really listening to people. He heard my pain when no one else did and worked Scripturally to teach me that Christ really did love me; and therefore, I am worth something to Christ. Christ died for me – Christ loves me – These were things I had a hard time believing. I was not a joyful person inside.

Providential circumstances led us to a church outside the camp we had both grown up in. The messages were all about Christ – from the Old Testament and from the New Testament. Over time, I began to realize that I had not been totally trusting in Christ for salvation. I had been trusting in something I had done or could do. My prayer – was it the right one? My faith – was my faith strong enough? My works – if I was saved, surely I should be doing a bunch of “Christian things”  (attending more church services, witnessing more, etc…)

All those things really affected my thinking.  They made me doubt my salvation and with that doubt, I became a weak and ineffective Christian.

But now I have learned that Christ IS my righteousness. Of course – as I always knew – I can never be good enough for God. That’s why Christ came – He WAS righteousness for me. He lived – perfect – as I cannot. When God looks at me, he does not see my sinful heart. He sees Christ. I am clothed with Christ’s righteousness. I am not my own, I am bought with a price – my heart, my life, everything in me— is God’s!

The people whom Christ is referring to (about to whom He will say: “Depart from me, I never knew you”.) are proclaiming they should get into heaven because in Christ’s name they have done mighty works. They are depending on their good works to get themselves into heaven – not depending on Christ’s righteousness.

Considering that all our best attempts at being righteous are as filthy rags to God, it is an insult to His holiness and glory to tell Him our works are why He should let us into heaven.

I have learned to let go of the bitterness I held in my heart is not worth it – it sours you as a person – and it is sin. It is no one else’s fault that you are what you are. God made you special, unique – for His own purpose.

As a Christian, it is up to you to search Scriptures and see where you do not measure up. By God’s grace, the more you see of Christ, the more you seek Christ, the more you know Christ – the more you will be like Christ!

God hates pride; when we don’t submit to him, that is what pride is.  God also hates self-pity. (which is really a lack of humility in disguise.) A truly humble person does not dwell on the evil inside, but rather acknowledges it and searches Scripture to learn how to change and be more like Christ.

Joy and her husband enjoy posting gardening tips and pictures at:

http://palmettoacresgarden.blogspot.com/

 

 

You Might Enjoy Reading These Also

  • Prayer against the Spirit of Rebellion

    Posted in Spiritual Warfare

  • Prayer for Public Speaking

    Posted in Work life

  • Prayer for a rebellious child

    Posted in Children

  • Prayer for a strained living situation

    Posted in Everyday life

  • How do you see God?

    Posted in Devotionals

  • Are you a FOOL?

    Posted in Attitudes, Devotionals

Please Donate

If you have been blessed by or found comfort from Shalom Be With You Christian Devotionals, Verses, Prayers, Testimonials and would like to support the upkeep, maintenance and updating of this inspirational Christian content, please donate.

We are NOT a non-for-profit.

We greatly appreciate your kind support and pray that God will bless you for being such a blessing to us by allowing this site to stay active. Your support allows us to continue to help others by providing solid bible based Christian support via this website.

Recent Posts

  • Prayer for physical healing
  • Who loves a LIAR and a CHEAT? GOD does.
  • Death to Selfie
  • Be a peacekeeper…for YOURSELF.
  • Are you sick of your SELFIE yet?
  • Ready or not, the RAPTURE is COMING.
  • Derek Prince ‘The structure of satan’s kingdom’
  • Derek Prince on Witchcraft Spirits
  • Derek Prince How to expel demons and be delivered from demons
  • How Demons work

Categories

  • Articles
    • Christian Articles
    • End Time Articles
    • Jewish Articles
    • Spiritual Warfare Articles
  • Book Reviews
    • Recommended Books
  • Confessions
  • Contributing Writers
  • Devotionals
    • Attitudes
    • Behavior
    • Mindsets
    • Relationship to God
    • Relationships1
    • Self Esteem
    • Spiritual Development
    • Spiritual Warfare
  • Educational Videos
    • Cult Information Videos
    • Demonic Information Videos
    • End Times Information Videos
    • Occult Information Videos
    • Supernatural Information Videos
  • Encouraging Testimonies
  • Fruit Of The Spirit
  • Marriage
  • Prayer
    • Adult Issues
    • Attitude Adjustments
    • Children
    • Church Life
    • Demonic Help Prayers
    • Emotional Healing
    • Everyday life
    • Family
    • Holiday Prayers
    • Live Prayer Support
    • Marriage
    • Mental Health
    • National/Global
    • Physical Healing
    • Spiritual Healing
    • Spiritual Warfare
    • Supernatural
    • Work life
  • Quotes
    • Funny Quotes
    • Inspirational Quotes
    • Jesus and God Quotes
    • Motivational Quotes
    • Relationship Quotes
    • Thought-Provoking Quotes
  • Rapture
  • Salvation Tracts
  • Testimonies
    • Demonic Testimonies
    • God Provides
    • Healing Testimonies
    • Jewish Testimonies
    • Life-Changing Testimonies
    • Miracle Testimonies
    • Muslim Testimonies
    • Supernatural Testimonies
  • Verses
    • Attitudes
      • Compassion
      • Confidence
      • Forgivness
      • Hope
      • Peace
      • Strength
    • Christian Life
      • Blessings of being God's children
      • Explaining salvation
      • Faith
      • Favor of God
      • Fear of the Lord
      • God's Command to Love
      • Mouth
      • Prayer
      • Redemption
      • Rewards
      • Salvation Verses
      • Waiting on God
    • Conviction
    • Dishonesty
    • End Times
      • Protecting Israel
    • Feelings
      • Anger
      • Anxiety
      • Fear
      • Freedom
      • Jealousy
      • Praise
      • Repentance
    • Good Character
      • Faithfuless
      • Goodness
      • Holiness
      • Honor
      • Integrity
      • Kindness
      • Meekness
      • Temperance
      • Truth
      • Wisdom
    • Health
      • Addiction
      • Body
      • Death
      • For Healthy Bones
      • Healing
      • Life
      • Longevity
    • Inspiration
      • Beauty
      • Grace
    • Joy
    • Joy of the Lord
    • Knowing God
      • God's protection
      • Loving God
      • The Light of God
      • Verses on God's Love
      • Will of God
    • Motivation
      • Business
      • Discipline
      • Encouragement
      • Prospering
    • Relationships
      • Children
      • Fidelity
      • Friendship
      • Frienship guidence
      • Godly Marriage
      • Others
    • Sin
      • Dishonesty
      • Disobedience
      • Hatred
      • Lying
      • Wickedness
    • Spiritual Growth – Maturity
      • Bible
      • Godly discipline
      • Rejection
      • Rest of God
      • Serving the Lord
      • Suffering
      • Temptation
      • Who we are in Christ
    • Spiritual Warfare
      • Angels
      • Armour of God
      • Demons
      • God delivers
      • Heaven
      • Power God gives to His children (Believers in Christ)
      • Verses on the Blood of Christ
  • Videos
    • Inspirational
    • Testimonial Videos

Verses, Prayers, Devotionals, Spiritual Support and Testimonies of Other Survivors of Demonic Oppression.
You Don't Have to Be Alone. The Word of the Lord is here and GOD Loves You!

Contact Shalom Be With You

Copyright © Shalom Be With You - All Rights Reserved 2010 - 2023

Back to Top