“Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” Proverbs 30:20
Our weekly Christian devotional
Summer stared at her reflection. The eyes looking back were worn and haggard. Although her figure was trim from a steady diet of cigarettes and caffeine, her face told quite a different story. That glitter eyeliner wasn’t fooling anyone.
“I can’t do this another night.” Glancing at the bottle of pills tucked inside her purse, she swiped on a second coat of lipgloss, hesitating for a split second.
Summer hated how groggy the pills made her feel the next day. But, they loosened her in every way and that was a good thing. Without them she wasn’t able to make the kind of money she did when she was a younger, hotter dancer. They helped Summer become careless and free—it was her youth in a bottle.
The alarm on her phone buzzed, a reminder not to be late for roll call. Not giving herself pause to question, Summer quickly grabbed the pills washing one down with a flat Diet Coke.
“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”
Every shift she worked, this was her mantra. And every night those very words compelled her to do…more… until there was nothing left; nothing she recognized, anyway.
Quickly filling her cat’s water bowl, she gathered her workbag and headed out the door.
“No more thinking. I don’t need the anxiety.” Hypnotically raking her lacquered nails through her extensions, she drove in silence. The ride to work was about a half an hour. By the time Summer reached the club the pill would have kicked in. But, she forgot to account for the fact she didn’t eat today and fifteen minutes into the drive her body was buzzing.
“After work, I’ll treat myself to that Gucci wallet I saw online.” Summer tossed her head back in glee, relishing the sensation of not feeling…not thinking…not caring anymore…
Without realizing it, her SUV drifted into the left lane. Horns wailed. Wildly, she over-swerved to the right, slamming on her brakes. For that split second, the petite dancer wished someone would just crash her out of her misery. Much to her disappointment, all accidents were avoided that night.
Summer rolled down the car windows ensuring the winter breeze would keep her alert. But, it wasn’t necessary. Her body was vibrating from the adrenaline jolt.
With hands trembling, the dancer turned her car off the main street onto a desolate back road. A neon sign glowed, turning the blanket of fresh snow into a tainted shade of pink.
Her heart sank with dread. Summer wanted to turn back…but where could she possibly go? Since scoring a fake I.D. at seventeen, the strip club was all she ever knew.
This Midwestern beauty figured she had plenty of time to figure things out. But, the years quickly passed. In the blink of an eye Summer was thirty-three years old—and life was far from fun and games anymore. It was too late for a girl like her to start dreaming again.
“Get it together.” She exhaled. The sound of her lungs only made her crave a joint.
“Oh, what I’d do for a puff of ‘grand daddy purple’ strain right now.”
Pulling up to the valet, Summer shifted back into ‘stripper mode’, smacking her glossy lips in the rearview mirror.
Tossing the keys to the valet and flashing a plastic smile, she climbed out of her car and headed towards the club. Her thin legs felt weightless and heavy at the same time.
Summer weaved up the stairs arriving in front of her locker, not remembering how she actually got there. The dancer giggled to herself.
“Finally.” She needed a laugh, even if it was at her own stupidity.
Photos of her cats plastered on her locker door seemed to mock her. At one time, Summer thought taping them there would make her feel happy. But the pictures actually had the opposite effect, reminding her of what she didn’t have.
All she ever wanted was a family of her own. As a little girl, she never dreamed her life would be reduced to feline fur, pills and men who never stayed longer than a night. Summer defiantly threw her winter coat over the door, covering the photos. She wasn’t about to ruin her buzz before the shift even started.
Her lithe body stumbled as she stepped into a slinky red gown and crystal encrusted heels. Upon finishing, she gingerly headed down the stairs to the thumping showroom below.
“Summer!” A loud voice boomed as soon as her foot landed on the bottom step.
“I just got my bonus. Help me spend it, baby!” Hank grabbed her waist, his breath reeking of Grand Marnier.
Laughing and kicking her heels, the dancer flirtatiously fought him off. These were the moments she was thankful for her magic little pills.
“I’ve got other suitors, you know.” Her blue eyes darted around the room. She wanted to see if she was missing out on a bigger spender than good old Hank.
“Well, I’ve got other options myself.” The customer huffed, eyeing a younger blonde walking past.
Summer quickly adjusted her game.
“Fate is fate. We mustn’t fight what’s meant to be, Hank.” It was a tad dramatic, but the seasoned vixen was confident her flattery would work like a charm.
Hank eyed his favorite girl suspiciously.
Knowing she needed to up the ante, she bent over to kiss his prickly cheek–ever—so—slowly. This gave the drunken man a generous view of her two greatest assets. Poor Hank was too weak to win a battle with the great Summer Daze.
“A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.” Hank soothed his conscience while pulling off his wedding band, tucking it deep within his pocket.
Tossing the remainder of his drink with a single swoop, thoughts of his wife faded while gazing at the beautiful distraction before him.
He stepped closer, feigning sincerity as well.
“I guess I can find it in my heart to forgive you.” Hank’s hot breath hit her neck like a vaporous poison.
A wave of nausea hit Summer. She got exactly what she was after—but it was the last thing in the world she actually wanted.
“A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.”
“Dear Heavenly Father,
How many times have I lied to myself thinking that I could fool you at the same time?
Lord, you aren’t a fool. You see every compromise I have made and every lie I’ve told myself to justify my favorite sins.
The truth is—I don’t enjoy my favorite sins anymore. Somehow, they’ve lost their pleasure.
But Lord, I don’t know how to stop! Help me.
I confess my sins of _________________________, give me the strength to turn from them. Help me to let go of the friendships and influences that can point me back down the path of destruction.
Give me the patience to stand alone if I need to.
My life has been empty for too long, Lord. Fill it with the power of God.
Make something good out of the ashes of what is left. Show me what you can do with a mess like me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Thank you for reading our weekly Christian devotional on verses: Proverbs 30:20
Please check back and see what we have for you next week!
Author: Julia Shalom Jordan