“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5
Today’s Christian daily devotional
The day is bereft of light. It feels as if the night has decided to encroach upon Chicago four hours too early. Those ominous clouds hovering over the rainy skyline have somehow found their way into our tiny apartment.
Pressing my hand against the foggy window, I can’t help but be captivated by the hypnotic pellets of rain drumming from the other side.
Every fiber in my being is warning me that there’s an invisible shift happening in my world. Internally, I brace myself. I’ve always been one to sense the calm before the storm.
My phone rings. Against every inclination to ignore it, I pick up the receiver anyway.
“She’s gone, Jules.” The voice on the other end sounds like a much frailer version of my friend, Montana.
Her words seem to hit me physically; I crumple into the nearest chair.
“You’re talking about Sunny, right?” Sunny was our mutual friend that was battling cancer.
“Yeah.” She sighs heavily.
“I gotta go. I just thought you’d want to know.” Montana’s voice is distant and scattered.
“Thanks.” I continue holding the receiver even after she hangs up.
Rushing to my pile of scrapbooks, I desperately look to find a picture of my beautiful friend. The photos I conjure up are so old—my heart sinks with deep regret. How I wished that I had taken more time investing in our friendship…
Bowing my head, I do what one instinctively does when a loved one passes away. I begin praying in honor of precious Sunny. But, the words that come to mind are far from holy.
“Why, Lord? Why allow a girl who only saw the good in life to be taken away so early?” My knuckles are as white as my anger.
My mind careens deeply into dark places; I shamelessly think of others who could have passed in her place. Unlike dear Sunny, they would have hardly been missed.
It is hard to admit that my knee-jerk reaction to Sunny’s untimely death was to think of better substitutions and to blame the Almighty.
If God created the universe, why doesn’t He just abolish cancer? Why couldn’t an early grave be reserved only for the horrible, wicked and evil people?
Sunny was the exact reflection of her name. As I look at her smiling face, I can’t help but remember her infectious laugh. The answers that elude me on this side of eternity are haunting to say the least.
As I read Hebrews 13:5, my aching heart finds comfort. Even in my hideously honest rant, God never left me.
The hard truth about life is this: that it will always carry the sting of death and the pain of sorrow. It is crucial to remember that God promises to be there with us through it all. Angrily shutting Him out will never be the solution to finding the peace that accompanies His presence.
In her final moments of earthy discomfort, I hope that my dear friend Sunny felt the truth of Hebrews 13:5, too.
“Dear Heavenly Father,
This life can be beyond ugly and beyond painful.
I’m sorry to admit that when things get rough, many times I blame you. Then when my life seems to be going great, I also regret that I seem to easily forget that every blessing comes from you. I repent that I have looked at things from such a narrow and selfish perspective.
You are God and you see and hold the balance of all life from a greater perspective. Help me to respect what I cannot understand.
In your word, you have promised that you would make all wrong things right. Give me the heart to accept that this may not happen in my life on earth, but that I will be alive and well to see it happen in the next.
For you are God and you are not capable of uttering untruths like man is. Please help me to remember this when I struggle with unbelief.
Lord, I give you my anger. I know that this will never create a better version of me.
In Jesus’ precious name, heal me of my broken heart so I can be a testimony of what God can do through me, despite what the world brings upon me. Amen.”
Thank you for reading today’s Christian daily devotional on verses: Hebrews 13:5
Please check back and see what we have for you tomorrow!
Author: Julia Shalom Jordan
*In memory of a girl who will always be Sunshine in my mind.