“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32
Our weekly Christian devotional
It’s hard not to notice the glorification of all things demonic—I see billboards of vampire movies, television shows staring teenage witches, documentaries about paranormal activity and ghost hunters. There’s even palm reader and psychic apps you can download on your iPhone! This trend doesn’t seem to be going anywhere—in fact, it’s picking up steam. And, it boils my blood.
You see, for many years I was possessed by demons. And, despite how the media plays this evil stuff up, dabbling in the dark arts is the farthest thing from glamorous and fun. The fact is all of it can eventually lead to spiritual suicide–if God doesn’t intervene.
Coming out with my story of demonic possession hasn’t been easy. But from the amount of people contacting me who are also suffering from oppression, it’s obvious my story is far from unique. I’m certainly not alone. Sadly, this issue is more epidemic than most (Christians and non-Christians) realize. And that is why I believe it needs to be boldly addressed. So, here goes…
People often ask what it was like for me when I was possessed. In a nutshell, I’m going to describe the living hell that was my life:
Where demons reside, there is no peace.
Imagine feeling the compulsion to punch your hand through mirrors, jump out of moving cars, and scream obscenities to strangers without having any control to stop it. Something or someone else has control over YOU.
Your body feels like it’s a stolen car being taken for a joy ride. But, the entities that have entered have no regard for your safety or wellbeing. The scariest part of it all is that you’re very aware of what’s happening, but you’re utterly powerless to stop it…
When demons are inside, there is no rest.
Your muscles stiffen and twitch without your consent—Even the cells in your body can’t find relief! As the night falls, the spirits stir alive and awaken. It makes no difference if you’re completely exhausted. Adrenaline and fear starts pumping through your veins and the surge of energy surpasses any physical limitations you may have. In fact, you are able to do more than your body could normally do—but with all tiring effects. And, this, my friend is beyond draining.
Imagine not remembering the last time you’ve gotten rest, because every time your eyes close, violent and bloody visions play like non-stop movies across your eyelids. The simple act of closing your eyes doesn’t provide respite. It actually becomes an act of torture…
When demons are within, all safety and security is gone.
Picture looking into the mirror and seeing another person’s eyes staring back–right through you. But these aren’t normal eyes. They are cold eyes. Mocking eyes. Ones that have murder written all over them…
Somehow you’re aware that if murder ever happened, the spirit behind those eyes would enjoy taking the slow and torturous route. After pulling your gaze away, your heart sinks in utter despair with the realization that you aren’t even safe with yourself anymore…
When you are in demonic torment, it’s impossible to find one moment of peace or even think one tranquil thought.
You’re trapped inside your own head, chained to the most torturous thoughts that you have no control over. Your mind simply won’t ‘turn off’. It continually reels with condemning thoughts of how ugly, worthless, unforgiveable and totally unlovable you are. This endless loop of negativity leaves you feeling beyond hopeless. Somewhere along the path of life, you’ve morphed into the walking dead…
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but might through God to the pulling down of strongholds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
For well over a year, this living hell was my existence. Even my loving husband was powerless to help. After suffering for a couple of weeks, John placed me in a mental care facility for evaluation. But, the doctors couldn’t diagnose me with any disorder! They simply sent me home with a prescription for anti-anxiety pills and the stark realization that I alone had to deal with the insanity of the reality of what my life had now become.
On top of all that turmoil—I had enormous guilt and shame. If the medical community didn’t know what was wrong with me, if churches weren’t able to help—where else could I go? What else could I do? Most of all my condition wasn’t just taxing to me; it was draining my loved ones trying to help. I was aware that I had become a burden and now that was just another factor breaking my heart…
I desperately needed a miracle.
“God, help me! I won’t turn to anyone but you.” I uttered those words with the convictions of a dying woman, because that’s exactly what I was. I was exhausted fighting for a life I wasn’t sure I wanted to live anymore.
“I am the door; by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to, steal, to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10: 9-10
Through this horrible nightmare, I’ve learned one simple thing: God will answer when you call. But… you must be willing to turn away from any other god. The good news is that you needn’t go to church to find God. He is always available, simply a prayer away.
So, are you interested in knowing what ‘god’ I turned my heart away from? It was me. I was my god.
I hate to admit it, but before this humbling incident I was disgustingly prideful. Any goal I worked towards I accomplished. Whatever I wanted to do, I did. I was my own god, the master of my universe. But, when that universe started crumbling, I quickly realized I was the farthest thing from ‘smart’ or ‘strong’ enough—I didn’t have the capabilities to save myself or figure my way out!
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.” James 4:10
As 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 states, life isn’t merely what you see fleshed out before your eyes. There is a serious battle over YOUR soul. Sometimes (as in my case) that spiritual war becomes obvious.
But, most of the time evil works like a slow, poisonous leak. It progressively fills your life with a fog of darkness that intensifies over time. The process happens so gradually that most victims don’t even see it coming–until they’re completely lost and confused without any idea how to get free!
If you’re in that place where you hate everything about your life, then let me ask you one question: What have you got to lose by asking God to change things?
I used to be apprehensive about turning to God. I feared what others would think if I did. It worried me to become one of those ‘un-cool’ people to all my ‘cool’ friends. I was very aware of how most of the western world views Christians today. God knows Christians aren’t lauded, that’s for sure! To be brutally honest, the term ‘Jesus Freak’ really freaked me out. I definitely didn’t want to become one of those people…(Again, that ‘pride-thing’!)
The truth was I really needed Jesus. In fact, I always did. But, today was different because today I was desperate enough to actually admit the truth. I needed that ‘crutch’ –The One Christians get mocked for depending on. In all my angst and torment, I realized there was no point fighting the help God made available to me. I chucked my pride. Up until this point, it had only gotten me into a world of trouble and pain. I held onto Jesus like my life depended on it. Today, I’m thankful that I did.
In the end, You’re the only one who has the power to make a choice for your own life. In fact, everyone does—even those ‘cool’ friends you’re so fearful of losing.
Will you let the opinions of others prevent you from salvation? Your life is more valuable that what your friends–or anyone–thinks about you. The only thing that matters is where you stand with God.
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” Proverbs 9:10
Think about it–If you don’t have God on your side, how will you ever overcome the enemy of your soul?
“Dear Heavenly Father,
It seems the world around me has embraced the darkness. Evil is glamorized and lauded, good is considered weak and dull.
For a while I figured that this was just the way life is supposed to be —but my existence has become so bitterly hopeless. I’ve lost my lust for life. I have become the walking dead. My passion is gone and every shred of hope has left with it.
Sometimes I just want to end it all—but deep down I fear where the end will lead.
Lord, if you are real, I’m ready to know you. I’m willing to give up every obstacle that has stopped me from a true surrender of my heart.
I need a real change—a lasting one.
If Jesus is the savior of my soul, then reveal Him to me in a personal way. I promise to pursue The Truth with my whole heart, no matter what the cost.
In Jesus’ precious name, help me God. Amen.”
Thank you for reading our weekly Christian devotional on verses: John 8:32, 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, John 10:9-10, James 4:10, Joshua 24:15, Proverbs 9:10
Please check back and see what we have for you next week!
Author: Julia Shalom Jordan
