“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Eph. 4:31-32
Today’s Christian daily devotional
“So glad you could make it.” My knight in the red sports car swung open his door, offering me a warm and slick shelter from the rainy night. I smiled and stepped in, naively believing that I was safer in his car than on the dark street.
It took a lot of planning and trouble for me to steal this moment with my prince. Because he was much older and refused to meet my parents, I was forbidden to see him. This only stoked my interest in him.
He was not like any of the boys from my school. His body was much taller and more muscular. When he walked people instinctively moved out of his path. Even the way he sat in his car oozed confidence.
I’ll never forget his thick, black hair. It was so dark it reflected a purple hue in the sunlight. The depth of it made his blue eyes that much more piercing. Those eyes sparkled just like my grandmother’s blue topaz cocktail ring. When they peered into mine, I felt like he was reading my soul.
Perhaps that is what he did. Because whenever we found a moment together, he would tell me just what I needed to hear. How he knew what to say, I will never know. But those empty words he spoke gave him the power to ask whatever he wanted from me. My love starved heart willingly obliged. Over the course of a year, bit-by-bit I gave sacred and precious pieces of myself in exchange for his empty promises.
It was not long before I was quickly forgotten and discarded like the cigarettes he carelessly flicked into the night sky. I became an ash in the wind.
When I read Eph. 4:31-32 it is hard for me to swallow the heaviness of it. Just thinking of the gaping whole Prince left in my heart gave me every reason to hold onto my bitterness and anger. He took and I gave. And in the end I was the one who had nothing left.
My life was destroyed the moment he lit the fire of my heart. Being tenderhearted and forgiving like the Bible instructs went against my very nature. I felt entitled to hold onto my hate. For many years this bitterness kept me motivated. It helped comfort me as I destroyed other people’s lives, hearts and marriages. What did it matter? I was entitled to my anger, and I felt justified in my affliction of it.
Evil always triumphs when the people who claim to love God do not obey God’s will. One day I just decided to give it up. The minute I stopped feeding my anger and chose to forgive was the minute I allowed God permission to heal my heart. Are you ready to give up the anger and hate that is destroying you?
“Dear Heavenly Father,
I have been used, abused and hurt by so many people. My anger has been the fuel of my existence for so long, I am scared of what I will discover when I let it go.
Will you protect all the broken places that are hiding behind the wall of bitterness I have erected around my heart? I want more out of life and it is hard to see that things could be any different.
Cruelty hurt me and I do not want to be the source of pain for anyone else. I cannot learn another way unless I obey the wisdom of Eph. 4:31-32. I choose to forgive. Can you help me while my feelings catch up to my choice? In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.”
Thank you for reading today’s daily devotional.
Please check back and see what we have for you tomorrow!
Author: Julia Shalom Jordan