“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” John 3:19
Today’s Christian daily devotional
My husband and I approach the door of our new neighbors with quiet apprehension. This party was to welcome the new kids on the block and the new kids just happened to be…well, us. We are the guests of honor for the night and ironically, everybody attending our special gala was a complete stranger.
As the door opens, we are greeted with warm hellos and formal introductions. My nerves gently retreat to a low buzz.
Settling myself next to the vegetable plate, I engage the warmest creature in the room, the family poodle. After several bottles of wine, the new crowd of strangers trickled over to my direction and the conversations began to flow more freely. The neighborhood, local politics and the cost of gas were all gently touched upon.
“So what is it you do, exactly?” A robust woman in a tight bun asks me that innocent question. Her tight-lipped smile is more than forced; it is condescending in every way. By her expression alone, it’s quite clear that she already knows the answer.
“I work in a bar.” I don’t skip a beat, but my eyes avert her’s.
Once again, I am faced with the sad realization that simply moving to a new location wouldn’t cause my problems to be left behind. The fresh start I had been hoping for always seemed to be just out of reach—but always in touch with my dark shadow.
The scarlet letter of being an exotic dancer seemed to loom over my head, wherever I went. I was separated from the rest of humanity; always reminded in some fashion that I was beneath the “regular folk”.
“That’s an interesting line of work.” She paused to take a sip of her wine. Her blood red lips looked like an animal that had just eaten it’s latest kill. From the ravenous look in her eyes, it was clear that she was hungry for more.
“What bar, exactly?” She pressed me, leaning closer, seeming to take great pleasure in my discomfort.
I rattled off my prepared lies, clenching my stomach the whole time. This little game was something I had grown quite accustomed to. My poker face never gave a hint to the pain that was oozing from my heart; but she could feel it nonetheless. Licking her lips, I watched as the curve of them turned upwards in subtle triumph.
Telling fables was torturous; but the truth was even harder to face, let alone embrace completely. Despite this cloak and dagger dance, most people seemed to figure out the truth, anyway. It wasn’t long before any new friends would quickly turn into strangers that whispered my secret. Most preferred to cross the street in order to avoid being seen making small talk with a girl like me.
John 3:19 says that men who love the darkness love it because it hides their evil.
Even what man may never see, God sees. This thought disturbs many people who feel they are getting away with something. The Almighty Creator of the universe is quite aware of all that occurs in the darkness and in the light.
If I was ashamed enough of my lifestyle choices to actually go through the trouble of lying to a stranger, how much more ashamed should I have been with my decisions than in the presence of an all-knowing God?
“Dear Heavenly Father,
The fact is the truth will be revealed one day. I can try to run from it, deny it and hide from it, but then I become a prisoner of my own lies.
You are a just God. It is foolish for me to think that just because I have done something in secret, that you do not know about it.
I expect the courts of law to defend and protect the innocent citizens and to punish the ones who are breaking the law. How can I expect anything less from a just God?
Have mercy on my wicked heart. I have been fooling myself thinking that could get by with living in a way that is detestable in your eyes.
You are the only one I should be living to please, and quite frankly, I am not doing a good job. I need your help. Empower me with your Holy Spirit to drop the “good guy” act and be real with you and my hidden sins.
Help me to be as disgusted as you are with my wicked ways so that I will naturally walk away from anything that is displeasing in your eyes. Give me the strength to not feel condemned, but be convicted.
In Jesus’ precious name, let the weight of conviction weigh heavy on me as it will bring me closer to you, and will save my life from the heartache of my sinful nature, Amen.”
Thank you for reading today’s Christian daily devotional on verses: John 3:19
Please check back and see what we have for you tomorrow!
Author: Julia Shalom Jordan