“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matt: 5: 27-28
Today’s Christian Daily Devotional
I worked as an exotic dancer at a strip club for many years. Unfortunately, I met many married men that were frequent visitors. Although they did not touch my body in the physical realm, the lust in their eyes burned with a violation that went much deeper. Because taunting men with my sexuality was my way of earning a living, I dealt with it. But my heart died a little death each time a man revealed that he was married. My hope was to get married one day. Because of these experiences, my picture of marriage became a dark one. The promise of security and love that marriage always symbolized seemed like a sad disillusion. I began to feel like was an ideal marriage commitment was just a nice thought that should be packed away along with my precious childhood toys. My heart was so heavy for the wives who had no idea where their family’s precious time (and money) was being spent. I wondered if my future husband’s heart would grow cold and selfish like the men I had encountered. I knew in my heart, that my actions were affecting more than just myself and my future, they were affecting the lives and homes of people I did not even know. For every glance that is stolen in the secret mind and heart of a man that is burning with lust, there is a woman who reaps a painful consequence. No matter how slick her husband is at concealing his actions, there is a part of her that will suffer: her self worth. The abandonment of the one who has made a commitment to her (and her alone) will ripple through the family lineage and create a legacy of mistrust and low self-worth. For all the daughters of men who “get by with it”, God sees and your family will suffer. You don’t have to accept “unacceptable” behavior from yourself. You can change if you let God help you.
“Dear Heavenly Father,
My heart is heavy with the burden of my selfish actions. For so long, I justified my behavior because it made me feel good in that moment. But, after the moment passed, I realized that I was strangling myself with my own ropes of deceit. Lord, hear my cry. Forgive my dark and selfish heart. There is more to life than just doing what I want at the expense of hurting others. There is a better way to live than this cycle of self-justification. It has never gotten me anywhere but further entrapped in a hopeless, selfish existence. There are people who love me who are depending on me to fulfill my promises to them. Help me to be a man/woman of honor and to treat others with the same dignity and respect that I would appreciate for myself. In Jesus’ precious’ name, have mercy on me, help me to change these habits of bondage and set me free from the addiction of pleasing myself before anyone else. Help me to have a new heart that will beat with a passionate love for my family in spite of myself. Amen.”