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Weekly Christian Devotionals - Prayer - Verses - Testimonials / To all the “GARBAGE PEOPLE”: God is a recycler!

To all the “GARBAGE PEOPLE”: God is a recycler!

Written by Julia Shalom Jordan.Posted in Devotionals, Self EsteemTagged: 2 Cor. 12:9, 2 Corinthians 12:9, denial, rejection, sexual abuse, shame, shattered self image, validation

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Cor. 12:9

Today’s Christian Daily Devotional

When I was a young girl, I was sexually abused (by someone not related to me).  Anyone who has ever suffered from anything like this; knows that the issues that result from it are complex, difficult to face (and deal with) and shattering to a woman’s self-image. Out of fear (that others would see me as garbage) I kept this horrible secret to myself. I tried to make myself “feel valuable” by getting the best grades in my class, and by entering into beauty contests. I deeply craved an award or sash to validate and make up for all that I had lost. I no longer feel special or important; I felt dirty and ashamed. So, I swept the pain, guilt and shame under the rug and tried hard to move on from it.  I remember putting myself out there—in a position to get rejected all the time— but feeling compelled to prove to myself (and to the world) that I was a winner. I can also recall the feeling of utter shock each time I became successful at any little thing; I was just that insecure! When I finally asked Jesus Christ into my heart, it was the first time I sat down with my self, my past and my pain.  It was time to get healed.  When I came across 2 Cor. 12:9, it was such a comfort to me.  Paul (The apostle) was basically saying that in our human frailties and weaknesses, the power of God will only shine brighter.  What a verse of hope for a girl who did not believe in second chances.  What a ray of light for a heart that thought it was broken beyond repair.  What a warm embrace of love from a God who not only took the time to create and think about me, but also to bend down and pick up a broken woman that was never strong enough to face her issues.  God is there.  He saw what happened and although I might never get the answers I want in this life-time as to why it did; including Him in my healing is the only thing that actually got the job done.

“Dear Heavenly Father,

I want to thank you for letting me survive this.  Many people self-destruct to the point of no return, and for some reason, I have returned to you.  I am sorry that when I got hurt, I ran from you.  It must have pained you so bad to see me continue to search for love and approval that only you could be large enough to fill.  In my desperate search, I experienced even more pain.  That was when I finally reached out to you.  Lord, thank you for helping me through this.  I need you more than I have ever admitted in the past.  I cannot survive without you, for I have tried.  My life without your presence was like living in a bomb shelter. There was no comfort, no joy no peace and no beauty.  Everybody in that same shelter was only interested in saving themselves.  Lord, you reached down, heard my cries and lifted me out of the mess I created!  How you can be so loving and forgiving is beyond my capacity to understand.  I am not going to try anymore.  I am just going to relax in the knowledge that I am in safe hands now.  I don’t have to run, I don’t have to hide and I don’t have to lie anymore.  God is with me now, and anyone who ever hurts me in the future has my heavenly Father to deal with.  I give my anger to you.  In Jesus’ precious name, bless the ones who have hurt me, Amen.”

If you or someone you know is being sexually abused, do not use prayer as a substitute for getting help. We, at shalombewithyou.com recommend prayer in addition to getting help.  Reach out to someone safe who will assist you in protecting yourself.  If you notice someone else who is being abused, seek guidence on how to help that person from a certified abuse councelor.

If you want to help children who are being forced into sex trafficing, please go to: http://lifetoday.org/outreaches/mission-rescuelife/

 

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